Post Date Check-In Questions  

 

VIBE CHECK:

 

• What was the overall vibe I got from this person? Did you feel comfortable and at ease with them?

• Did they get up to greet me or hug me when we met? 

• Did I feel comfortable talking with this person? Did conversation flow easily?

• Did I feel any attraction for them? Did I notice any flirtations or signs of attraction from them?

• Did I feel relaxed around them?

• Did they make me laugh? Did they get my sense of humor?

• Do I want to see this person again? Can I see myself with this person as a partner

 

VALUES:

 

• If chivalry is important to me, did they open doors for you? Insist you walk on the inside of the sidewalk? Did they offer to come to your town or neighborhood or did they ask you to meet them halfway or in their town?

• Were they kind to others we interacted with? 

• If you ran into any of their friends or yours, how did they react? Were they friendly and did they introduce you?

• Are they open minded and curious about you and the world around them? Do they seem open to learning?

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INTERESTS:

 

• Do you share interests? Can you see yourselves doing things together that you both enjoy?

• Did they have any interests or passions that really turned you off?

• Were they open to your interests?

 

RAPPORT:

 

• Was there a nice volley of conversation back and forth? 

• Did they seem to drone on about particular topics without checking in to see if you had a shared interest in that topic?

• Were they overly focused on discussing something that you do not have a shared interest in? Such as were they focused on talking about raising their very young children but you have grown children and you find yourself drawing on your experiences from 8-10 years ago to keep the conversation going?

• Did they ask about you, your work, your interests and openly share about their own?

 

RED FLAG CHECK:

 

• Ex Check: Did they bring up exes a lot? Did they have negative things to say about their ex(es)

• Patterns of Negativity: Did they mention several exes or partners of friends who they report as "crazy" or irritating?

• Missing Manners: Do they say thank you to wait staff when you are out? Do they try to order for you? Do they make jokes that you and the staff cringe at simultaneously?

• Blanket Generalizations: Do they refer to you as a hippie just because you do yoga? Do they assume everyone shares their beliefs and interests?

• Did they seem to have a checklist of items they were asking you about? Did you feel like you were in a job interview?

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NEXT STEPS:

• Were they clear about their intentions post date?

• Are you excited to see this person again? Are you curious about things that you discussed or they brought up? Do you feel like you can reach out to them easily?